Are You An Orchid or a Dandelion?

You know lots of lucky dandelions. They are dealt the worst hand in Poker, yet still feel like a winner. With cups that appear half full, they find nourishment in the sidewalk cracks of life. Regardless of the balance in their bank accounts, evening news stories, report cards, or career setbacks, dandelions thrive. They don’t need anti-depressants to get peaceful sleep at night, and cherish their family members—all of them! They are the foundation of a society of civilized folk. I have at least four dandelions in my family.

You also know some orchids, or may be one yourself. They were the irritable, cranky babies that often acted out with aggressiveness or criticism or fell into heaps of tears at smallest of slights by friends. They form fewer close relationships and alliances than dandelions, returning affection in highly selective ways. They are prone to depression, ADHD, and if given the right circumstances in life, can end up with addictions or in prison. I stopped counting when I realized we have at least ten orchids in my family.

Genes clearly play a role in both personality styles. But, recent studies by pediatrician W. Thomas Boyce, German psychiatrist Klaus-Peter Lesch, researcher Stephen Suomi and others, are finding that the environment plays an equally important one. These studies take the “vulnerability hypothesis” and turn it inside out. Their new model proposes that neither nature nor nurture is the more important factor in success and happiness, but rather how one’s genetic sensitivities are perceived and shaped by the environment.

In fact, the really great news is that the genetics of ‘orchidness,’ given the right environment and interactions, are the formula for spectacular creativity and underlie man’s phenomenal plasticity and success as a species. These researchers ask the question that I over-simplify here, “Why are self-destructive genes that cause anti-social and other problematic human behaviors becoming more ubiquitous and how do they contribute to success in an increasingly fast-paced, complicated world?”

It’s commonly accepted that traits that are less necessary for success as a species are selected out naturally. Traits that help and advance humans, prevail. The findings of these researchers suggest that attention deficit’s flipside allows a person to see new stimuli, multi-task with agility, and react quickly to new trends. When change occurs, orchids alert us and find new paths.

When my boys were in elementary school, year after year I sat in front of teachers at grim parent conferences and heard things like, “His desk is located in the corner so that he won’t bother anyone else.” “He just daydreams all day and puts nothing on paper.” “Your son just isn’t living up to his potential or perhaps the aptitude tests we give somehow inflate his ability.” As indicated by ever-present ‘star charts,’ both of my sons were usually somewhere near the bottom half of the class in reading and behavior.

So, it’s no mystery why my son, a stem cell researcher and notoriously difficult student, found the article “The Science of Success” by David Dobbs in the December issue of Atlantic Monthly and sent it to me. Attached to it was the note “ Mom, I think we are orchids and should embrace it. We wouldn’t exist if there weren’t some evolutionary advantage!” My older son, an entrepreneur and founder of a cyber-security software development company, concurs with his thinking. My husband and I, exhausted from our child rearing adventures, lifted a glass of wine and toasted each other when we received the note. Our little greenhouse wasn’t such a bad place in which to be an orchid after all.